krissdusel

Fitness * Family * Health * Gluten-Free

How Can We Stay Calm When Our Children Don’t Listen To Us?

Great post!!! I have been in similar situations many times where the anger and fight become soooo much bigger than the initial problem.

allisoncarmen

Kerze im Rosenblättermeer

“To conquer oneself is a greater task than conquering others”- Buddha 

Last year, my daughter came down with a sore throat and cold, 
but she really pushed herself to keep going to school. She kept pushing 
until one morning I forbade her to go to school and took her to the 
doctor. All that pushing of hers had resulted in a case of bronchitis. 
In my mind I decided that she had gotten bronchitis because she was 
rundown from staying up late doing homework and it therefore followed that this would need to stop.

So that night I put my almost 
fourteen-year-old daughter with bronchitis to bed at 8 pm. She was very angry about the early bedtime and sat on the floor and refused to 
get into bed. She came out of her room at least 15 times during the 
evening and the anger in me escalated. I took…

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Doing It Alone

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Everything I do lately seems to be based on how long it has been since I have been “single”. I guess I focus on this because I really enjoy being alone. I can not say I am entirely alone – I have my kiddos, but there is no “man” in my life and that is okay. After being with someone for so long, it is time for me to just be me without anyone else.

Life is falling into place for me. I am not a real God believer, but someone is definitely looking out for me. There is no other way to explain it. I always think of my gram! I think of her often.
🙂

In January, I started looking for an apartment for my kids and I. The one place I really liked didn’t pan out right away. While I was waiting to hear on that place I stumbled upon the MOST AWESOME place. Next, out of the blue, a boss from 12 years ago finds me and says he has a job of a lifetime I should interview for. I got it!!!! How did both those things line up together just when I needed them to? Weird!!!

I continue to live my healthy lifestyle. As I type I am sitting in a ski lodge after a hike. My son is out skiing.

My newest form of exercise is tackling stair climbing. My new apartment has stairs, so I take advantage. When the business downstairs closes the kids and I (Oh and our cat) run up and down the stairs for exercise. Once the snow melts and I can hit the sidewalks for a flat run it is going to be a breeze.

I thought I would be scared being alone. My husband was always “my protector”. Odd thing is I am not. I don’t mind living alone (my kids spend a couple of nights a week with their dad) and I am not scared to do stuff by myself anymore. If you asked me 2 years ago if I would hike up a hill all by myself, I would have said no way. I would be afraid someone would attack me. Now! I am like seriously? If some guy comes near me he is gonna get a
boot to his “boys” and his face! I do not live in fear anymore.

It is almost spring and I am so excited to get out and have some fun with the kids! It had been a long winter in the northeast!

Keeping on living life to the fullest! It’s the only one we have! Negative thoughts are a waste of time!

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KEEPING YOUR MARRIAGE ALIVE

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It is with a very heavy heart that I write this post. In fact, I am sure I will becrying throughout the entire thing…..

My husband and I have decided to part ways after almost 23 years together. I was 16 when I met my husband, and now very close to being 40, I will no longer be married. I have to tell you that this is the hardest thing I have ever experienced.

This is something I NEVER thought would happen to me. No matter what – we would stay together for the kids and work it out. I NEVER wanted to be divorced. Where did it all go wrong? I can not pinpoint an exact date, month or year. I think we just slowly fell apart and before we knew it, we stopped trying and now we are too far gone.

Why am I writing this post? I want to be honest with the people that read my posts (I am no Paula Deen. LOL). I do not want to portray myself as someone I no longer am at this point. I started a journey of working out and getting fit 1 1/2 years ago. I thought I was doing that because I would soon be turning 40 and it was time to think about me. That was a huge part of it and I will continue along that journey and feel great about all the progress I have made. However, I think a little bit of it might have been me trying to get my husband’s attention. I was too late…. 😦

I can think of a ton of stuff that we could have done to counteract what happened, but you don’t know at the time that all the little things add up to one big thing – The big “D”.

I am no expert, but here are some things I THINK we should have done differently along the way…………

1. Once you have kids, as a mom, your life changes and those children become your focus. Unfortunately, your hubby tends to get left in the dust. Husbands need and crave attention. That for me may have been the beginning of the end which is so sad. I know that it is very difficult to do, but you have to make time for each other and appreciate each other. Believe me, I know. You think one minute away from them is too many, especially if you work. You have to make time for your spouse. Being happy puts you in a better mood and your kids will appreciate and feel it, even if they do not know the reason.

2. RESPECT. In my opinion, in any decision you make, you should have in the back of your mind – “what would my spouse think?” This one is as simple as that.

3. Communication. You have to talk to each other about everything. Bottled up feelings just build up within you until you blow up on each other and then when you finally decide to talk about it (or yell about it), you are sooo mad, it is a screaming match and you never deal with the issues. You just want to “win” the fight.

4. Never stop complimenting each other. I feel like when this faded away (even though I didn’t know it at the time), we both lost a little something.

Whatever stage you are in in your marriage, please think about the above.

I will continue to write about getting and being fit, healthy recipes, a little bit of gluten free and of course, my kiddos, but I may be posting about my new journey as well.

20 Playgrounds Challenge Update No. 2 – The Summer Fun Continues…..

This Buffalo weather is killing our challenge.  First it rains for the entire beginning of the summer and then we get high 90s for a week?  Oh well!  That’s why it is called a challenge I guess.

Our fourth playground was the kind I use to go to as a kid complete with swings, a metal slide and a merry go round.  This playground was located at Clarence Town Park in Clarence, NY where we have a reunion with my mom’s side of the family every year. Of course, most of the time was spent on the merry go round.  It is always a hit with my kids.  It makes me a little nervous with my 5 year old on there, but she seems to be able to hold her own. As far as the new plastic one, I do not think the kids ever went on it.

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Our fifth playground  was at the Burchfield Nature and Art Center in West Seneca, NY.  Not only did they have an amazing playground, but they have a nature trail and a creek right along side to play in.  It looks like they have tons of activities and events going on all the time too according to their website – burchfieldnac.org .  Unfortunately, we did not get to see the trails because my little “angels” had a bit of a listening problem this day, so we went home after the creek walk.  If you can find a place like this near you with so much to do at once place and FREE, it is a goldmine.  Bring a lunch and hang out for a couple hours.  I had no idea there would be so much to do until we got there.

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Our sixth playground is located at my sister’s campground – Niagara’s Lazy Lakes Camping Resort in Cambria, NY.  This is a fairly new playground.  They use to have this old metal thing that I wouldn’t even allow my kiddos to play on. After reading the resort’s yearly newsletter, I found out this playground is made from 39,000 recycled plastic milk cartons. How cool is that?

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I was never a fan of these campgrounds with campers on top of each other, but I have changed my mind.  My 9 year old can ride his bike ALL day, that is in between swimming,  hayrides, activities,  the playground, etc…  We barely spend time at the camper anyway.

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We visited my sister this weekend and my kids fell asleep 10 minutes into our 1 hour 15 minute ride home, which equals heaven for this exhausted mom. That is a testament to how busy they were.  My kids rarely sleep.  I think these campgrounds will allow you to stay overnight for free if you listen to their spiel. If you want your kids to stay active, these are great places to be members.  We visit my sister a couple of times a year and my kids have friends they met years ago.  They pick up right where they left off the previous year.

So our challenge continues….. 6 down and 14 more to go!!!  I am not getting discouraged.  We will do this!!  My kids do not go to school until after Labor Day weekend, so we still have well over a month!!  Now if mother nature would only cooperate!!!

I hope I have inspired you to get out there and have fun with your kids!!!  You can not get this time back!!

Workouts Can Be Found in The Strangest Places

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Yesterday morning I set off  for my sister and brother-in-laws to help them move.  As we moved the first load into the new house, I saw that their neighbors were working out in their driveway.  I have to say that I was a little jealous that I was not going to be able to workout because I would be helping all day with the move.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?  Missing out on a workout? Far from it!!! I have NEVER climbed up and down so many stairs in my life and not empty handed obviously.  Boxes and boxes and boxes!! Oh and two VERY large flat screen televisions and rearranging the furniture more than once!

So you see girls a workout is not just lifting weights in the gym, your home or even your front yard.  Workouts can be found in the strangest places!!

Another super great workout is cutting the lawn with a push mower.  I do this every week.  It takes me 2 1/2 hours and is a killer workout.  Did I mention my lawn mower is not self propelled.  Yep!  Hardcore.  Works every part of my body all while I am jamming to tunes on Pandora and getting some sun.

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I live in Buffalo so of course the winters do not disappoint.  Another great workout – shoveling snow!! Ladies, do not let the boys do all the physical work.  Let them do some laundry or dishes.  They can watch the kiddos while you get  moving!!

No excuses!!! You can find a workout anywhere!!!!!

Why do kids hide behind things?

If any of you are like me, you often forget that kids are just that – Kids! They can not wrap their minds around the “adult” world. My 5 year old daughter currently believes that her finding the perfect outfit to wear to daycare or grammas is way more important then me being late to work.

Kelly Marie Welch

I don’t know why kids like to hide behind things.

                -Under things

                                -In things

Sometimes it can be frustrating

                -When you’re waiting

                                -Contemplating

Raising your voice and -giving them a choice

“Come out now, I mean it, you’ll see!  Okay Now. Okay now…

I’m counting to three!”  And now, your typical “cool”, by this point – you’ve lost it.

                                                But,

Not this time and not this rhyme.

See, I felt my temperature rise when she rolled her eyes and squeezed her tiny little body behind the couch cushion.                   I wanted to be mad, but across my eyes I got this vision.

Of 5 ½ years ago, back when I was still just wishin….

                                                                And yearning, and pleading, and desperate for a baby…..

And then in my vision, I remember thinking, JUST MAYBE! Just maybe I’ll have a little girl…

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